Zoloft?

In the month I've been AWOL, I've had a few adventures and more than several author-ish conversations with Bill (the man-candy)that have proved to be interesting. And since he's an English major, fellow nerd, and definitely a good writer about a couple different aspects of writing. One such talk was on the back roads to my grandparents house two hours away.

"Writers can't do shit when they're happy! All the best work they do is done when they're depressed about something!" he declared after informing me in an incredibly non-serious manner that our relationship was a happy thing and thus, cramping his style for any/all of the papers he was going to have to write in the coming semester of school. I begged to differ, it's not a matter of being depressed. To me it was a matter of being able to channel the proper emotion at the proper time. The debate was inconclusive but it did make me ponder.

I think he made a good point when he said (in less words) depression is like mothers' milk for authors. We live for the slumps that send us into a frenzy of writing and emerge from it with some serious catharsis. But I disagree with the idea of anything awesome that was ever written (with the exception of Poe, we all know he was a sad person all the time)stemming from the darkest corners of the human mind.

Honestly, being constantly depressed isn't healthy. I'm talking mostly to those of us that just deal with the emotional slumps that are totally natural. Times like that I've definitely cranked out some wonderful stuff and I've also written some of the most awful drivel ever that will never see daylight. And on occasion I'll just crank up mood-inducing music and have at it. That's usually my preferred method, you get all the benefits of the mood, without having to sink into an awful slump.

Bill and I eventually agreed to disagree and turned to other things and I made a mental note to use that conversation in a blog post. I'll most likely be posting a few more of our nerdy conversations and dissecting them from a writers' standpoint when they happen. Until then I'm going to get back to work and start coming up with more posts.

No Internet Is Ruining My Life

Between my internet being a crapshoot and being sick and the boyfriend being sick it's being a little hard to log on. But I've been writing as often as possible. Read as: every few days.

A friend of mine and I are collaborating on another blog about food for college food so more on that later.

I'M OFF TO POTTERMORE!!

Photo Dump!

Herman Crab!


Beach Sunset outside Schooners


Myself and Courtney leaving St. Andrew's (Courtney gets photo cred)


Somewhere in Alabama is a place called Opp


View from the condo



Someone built a baseball diamond. (Will for the credit)



Part of our ballin' condo (Will for the credit)


Best Margarita I've ever had.

Hiatus is Over

I'm back from Florida and I've found some inspiration. And a wicked sunburn. So while that fades away I'm going to get back to work. I also picked up some new books, some I've read, some I haven't. Those will be discussed later. I'll see if I can put up a few pictures in another post of the PCB trip, because damn I love my friends.

Zen and the Art of Long Term Relationships

Of course when I say this, I mean in Fiction where the sun is always shining and unicorns shit rainbows. I do not claim to be a relationship expert, I am in fact very stupid when it comes to them and have been single for almost a year now in an attempt to wise up. Some of this I think is due to Asperger's Syndrome (I'll deal with any questions in a later post) and the rest is to lack of experience.

Although since last summer, I've turned into something of a maneater. Hall and Oates would be proud of me I think, though I'm not exactly proud of myself for some of the things I've done. Over the past few months I've done a lot of retrospect and insight and I'm learning how to love myself for all my fuck-ups and while I'm not proud, I don't regret it. My friends still love me, and I think that's all that matters.

Now, back to Fiction, which is the purpose of this post.

I've made a lot of progress in the ending of this book, which is somehow also the beginning, and have reached a point where two of my main characters have some fairly pivotal interaction as far as their relationship goes. By now you've hopefully inferred that they are each others' love interests and while this isn't the moment they fall in love with one another (that'd be way too convenient) this is where I could start laying the stepping stones to that point if I really want to. Or I could put it off for a little bit longer, there are a few scenarios possible:

Scene A) I keep on chugging the way I see this playing out and everybody goes home happy in the land of Fiction.
Scene B) I put it off just a little bit longer and make things a little bit more complicated and requires more thinking on my part and throw in a few red herrings every once and a while.
Scene C) I figure out how to make both ideas work.
Scene D) I storm off in a huff and figure this out later.

I've been toying with the idea of putting it off and having him hit her or something drastic like that, but I feel like the whole distrust thing has been overdone. I also think going on ahead is a total cop-out.

Looks like D is the plan while I work on C. Fiction is just going to have to suffer for a little while as I figure out how to keep the love interest... well interesting. They have to span three books, and that is a long term relationship if I ever saw one.

Bible Belt

I live in Tennessee, and while I love my home for it's widely acknowledge natural beauty and wildlife, I can't say much for our smarts.

We're getting a lot of attention for the "Don't Say Gay" bill, which by the way is incredibly gay, of late. And then earlier this month Tracy Morgan decided to run his fat mouth and stir up more trouble, I can happily say I never liked him anyways. It's astonishing how overnight all of this anti-homosexuality has sprung up in my home. I've always been in support of the LGBTQ community, one of my best friends is an incredibly fierce drag queen, and can't imagine life without him. But the sudden amount of animosity they're being shown is heartbreaking.

Tracy Morgan: Lesbians Hate Men
The original article describing his rant

Wanda Sykes Takes On Chris Rock
A follow up piece, cause bitches get stuff done

"Don't Say Gay" Bill Passes
Read the article and be amazed at the dumbness

I Think...

Dangerous words there.

But really, I think part of the reason I've been having so much trouble with this particular scene is because I'm not angry. Quite the opposite. I'm actually pretty friggin' happy. There's minor irritations in life, but on the whole things seem to be going pretty well.

I want to try to finish it off before I leave for Florida (woo!) so I've just spent the past 45 minutes listening to very loud, angry music in hopes of starting something in my head. We'll see how that goes. If not, I still have about a month before I go anywhere.

I Don't Take Kindly To Most Conspiracy Theories

I about beat the hell out of an old friend for trying to deny the Holocaust. And I'm not even Jewish.

It's a thing in my family to join the military. I, however, can't due to some lovely disorders. So I picked the next tradition on the list: Artist.

Today is Memorial Day. Today we think back on all of our soldiers, all of our friends, all of our family.

Today is also the day I walk around with a hammer to pound the face in of any idiot that tries to fuck with traditions.

It's also a thing in my family to be kind of aggressive and really proud.

Anyways. Here's fun link.

POPULAR MECHANICS DEBUNKS 9/11 MYTHS

Another Inspo Playlist

This time it's got kind of a romantic-but-I-kind-of-hate-you vibe. My couples can never be normal. These two are very "kiss with a fist" if you know what I mean.

The Book and The Street- Gabriel Gadfly

The book says to the street,
I am smarter than you:
My academia surpasses your
Idiosyncratic methodology:
In fact,
Ample meditation on my disciplines
Precludes from necessity
Your meager knacks.

The street says to the book,
Say that to my face.
I’ve got a crowbar that will make
Your academia cry.

Multitasking

I'm currently trying to write, both on paper and on here.

I'm having a hard time with the paper medium at the moment, so I'm going to come over here and stimulate my brain muscles (I have more than one brain, okay?!) and get my creativity working like it should.

Currently, I'm writing the build up to a rather important confrontation,this is where you meet the big boss, and all this description stuff is killing me. I really want to avoid being another Tolkein (wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy and it's prequel, The Hobbit) who was the king of excessive detail. He went on for days about horse saddles and that had nothing to do with plot or character development.
I also don't want to just write simple sentences about a leather saddle on a black horse either. Because then I'll have to go back and do a whole fuckton of editing. Yes, a fuckton is a standard unit of measurement. And since I'm my own editor (via internet tools) I'd rather not do that.

I think I need to pick up some C.S. Lewis. Now there was a guy who had his details down. You were drawn in to Narnia like flies to honey and captivated by the world he had created. And in The Screwtape Letters you are both repulsed and fascinated by the demons mindset. He knew how to keep you in the book. Hang on, I'm going to go get that. Ok.

So moral of the story: Not only is introducing a huge character at the end of the story really friking tricky, translating all these details from your head to paper (or whatever you medium of choice is) makes you want to punch something cute and fluffy.

DISCLAIMER: No cute and/or fluffy things were harmed in the making of this post.

A/N: Read The Screwtape Letters if you've read the Chronicles of Narnia. And if you haven't read the CON, read those too. All of them.

Well, Hi!

I think I suddenly and involuntarily decided to have a life there for a second.

I did have wrist surgery last week so I've been spending the past few days in a narcotic haze, but the healing is coming along nicely, I should be able to go back to normal by the time I have my follow up next week.

On the plus side, I've spent some of my awake time writing and it's coming along nicely. I think I'm going to be one of those weird writers that finishes the ending first and then works up to that. It worked for Rowling, so why the hell not?

I need to start looking at publishing options and researching them. I have a few pages bookmarked, and I'll probably explore them on here.

This post is mostly just to say I'm not dead and I didn't forget.

Oops...

I meant to put this at the end of the last post, but it was eight years long.

Song to Dramatically Run To

And this came up as I was working, 8tracks just has that feature I guess. I didn't get to listen to all of it, but it sounded lovely.

My Favourite Instrumentals Of. All. Time.

Listen and enjoy

Tequila!!!

Okay. I'm on a little bit of a break, I lost steam, whatever you choose to call it. So to get my groove back I'm going to a) keep listening to this playlist I Stumbled, because it pwns b) stare at my screen for a minute and come up with a topic to blog/blurb/ramble about and c) try to figure out what I want to do tonight, because for those of us not of Mexican descent, it's Cinco de Drinko. Although why any country would want to celebrate a defeat is beyond me.

Let's see...
Oh.
I know.
The ultimate Girl Topic and a fairly important "Writer Topic"...

Boys/Men.


I love men. I also kind of like girls, but that's another subject for another day. But, I love me some men. Find me the right one and I can have fun for days. And I don't mean the bedroom kind of fun either, I mean the stay-up-all-night-running-around-town-drinking-booze-eating-in-dives-smoking-cigarettes-and-weed-listening-to-brilliant-live-music-jam-in-the-mosh-pit-watch-the-sun-come-up-and-just-barely-make-it-to-the-bed-pass-out-in-a-tangle-on-the-couch kind of fun. Someone that can keep up with me and test my stamina kind of fun.

It's those kinds of men I love to read about. It's those kinds of men I love to create and write about. Those wild, adventurous spirits that sweep you off your feet and never let you touch the ground again after are, in my opinion, perfect. They can be sweet and doting one minute, the next it's a barfight with some guy. And the sex, when you get to it finally, is pretty damn good.

Sadly, I don't think you see very many of these archetypes in literature today. They're a bit more concerned with sensitive, sparkling vampires and nerds (not that I'm complaining one bit about nerds finally getting their due). Most people prefer to make the volatile type the bad guy, the abuser, the evil ne'er do well who takes advantage of a lily white maiden and introduces her to a a seedy underworld of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll and steals her innocence. Am I right?

I'm sorry, but when has anyone EVER complained about sex (rape is the exception, I'm not stupid)? Drugs, meh, I can see where that's a bad thing. But there is absolutely nothing bad, immoral, or wrong with rock 'n' roll, if you disagree I want a five-point essay with VALID points to your argument and works cited with at least three sources. I'm not kidding.

All of this psychobabble is to explain how I try to create the men in any story I write. I try very hard to make them un-boring and kind of challenging. I, as an aware and aggressive female, enjoy the challenge that particular kind of man creates and want to be able to portray that man in a more positive light. It's not to say I spend every other page hating on sensitive guys, cause I love me some snuggle buddies. Just be prepared to have a very strong love-hate relationship with a couple of my male protagonists.

Forcing Through A Block

Werks.

No really.

It werks.

And I know I'm spelling works wrong. Get off me. I'm going to go write some more.

I Have Recommenced

Or at least tried to. Sometimes if I just pick up a pen and start going, that lazy Muse of mine wakes up and does her job. Other times it's like pulling teeth and I just get frustrated.

So here goes. I'll keep posting things that inspire, random opinions, poems, and the like. Who knows? Maybe when I'm done with this particular streak of words, I'll type up another few paragraphs.

On A More Serious Note...

Original Post

On this day, twelve years ago, thirty-seven people woke up in Columbine, Colorado, thinking it would be any normal Tuesday. Little did they know, their lives would be changed forever. In fact, thirteen of them would die that day, long before their time. The students of Columbine High School were unaware that they would be witness to the most brutal high school shooting in American history.

Dylan Klebold (left) and Eric Harris (right) were eighteen years old. At this young age, they were also responsible for the deaths of twelve students, and one faculty member. Twenty-one others were injured by their assault. These two young men were deeply troubled individuals with access to 9mm assault rifles, and the properties required to make bombs.

On April 20th, 1999, Harris and Klebold arrived in seperate cars on campus. They set off bombs in their high school’s cafeteria at 11:17 AM. As people escaped at approximately 11:19 AM, the pair opened fire on the unsuspecting victims.

At 11:29 AM, after fleeing from a sheriff, Harris and Klebold moved to the school’s library where they shot at and injured/killed 34 people. They left at 11:42, marking the end of the massacre.

At 12:08 AM, the pair returned to the library, where they committed suicide. Dylan Klebold, 17 years old, killed himself with a single shot in the head. Eric Harris, 18 years old, swiftly followed, shooting himself once in the mouth.

In the span of 49 minutes, countless lives were changed forever. Two young men, that suffered from depression, disturbances, aggression, violent urges, and above all, bullying, lashed out. Lashing out even seems like too understated.

Cassie Bernall, Steve Curnow, Corey DePooter, Daniel Mauser, Daniel Rohrbough, Rachel Scott, Lauren Townsend, Kyle Velasquez, Kelly Fleming, Matt Kechter, Isaiah Shoels, John Tomlin, Coach David Sanders, Dylan Klebold, and Eric Harris all died on April 20, 1999. These people had lives, loved ones, and futures. None of them will ever get to grow old and die of natural causes, and have many life experiences that we take for granted.

Please never forget, and please remember, your actions towards others have repercussions. So treat everyone around you with respect

Happy 4/20

Original Post Here

We are Stoner.
We go to work everyday.
We've thought about life more than you can understand.
We've values that you overlook.
We are the ones who hold your hair while your poison ejects itself.
We are the ones who can talk to the cop, since you can't even stand.
We are prosecuted by those who are jealous of our zeal.
We don't need help or your opinion, or that new fancy liver.

We are understanding, compassionate and forgiving. If the laws changed tomorrow, we would not hold spite for all the years or harassment.
We are joyous, happy and outgoing. Not only do we love the greatness we have found in life, but feel compelled to share it with you as well.
We are dependable, chivalrous and loyal. We don't smoke to much pot and accidentally screw our best friends girlfriend.
We are accepting, trusting and doubtless. Ethnicity? Race? Social status? Don't worry about all that, sit down and have a toke with us.

W will not give up. We will survive your trials. We will endure your lies. And sooner or later, we will win.
We are all together. We all accept each other. We are all one.
We are Stoner.

Once Upon A Time...

Something I Think You'd Need

I've been reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower again the past few days (oh, what a hipster I am, yeah, yeah, yeah) and while I could ramble on for hours about the merits of the book and how wonderful it is, I'm going to shut up and get to the point.

Charlie, the main character, is given a series of books to read over the course of the book by his English teacher (I'll tackle those later) and while reading one of them is inspired to try to write something. He only makes it one sentence in before giving up. Although it probably wasn't such a bad thing, Charlie was a terrible writer.

The point of the story here, is to talk about a few things most writers should probably have at their disposal before they begin an endeavor into the literary world. Some of these things Charlie had, most of them he didn't.

1) Imagination by the shit ton.
No really. Your imagination never should have left childhood.

2) A semi-ridiculous belief in the impossible.
This includes, but is not limited to, faeries, dragons, and magic. Indulging in these things doesn't make you immature as long as you limit it to your writing time. It helps you make the characters you create and their worlds more believeable.

3) The internet.
Were this 1976 I would have said a library, but you need to be able to back your shit up with thorough research. And you know what? Even though this is 2011, a library never killed anyone. I quite like them. They're quite often more helpful and less distracting than the internet.

4) Copious amounts of liquid.
Be it tea, coffee, soda, whiskey, scotch, or rum. Pick your poison and keep it on tap for when the Muse whacks you over the head and you get into a frenzy and forget to eat. The human body can go for weeks without food, but only days without water.

5) Someone sane.
Their job is to pry you away from your medium of choice and force you to talk to people, bathe, and eat. They can be crazy in their own way if you like, they just can't be your kind of crazy.

6) Liquor.
For those attempts at negotiating around writers block.

7) A Snuggie.
For when you write on the couch or in bed or something. Mostly just because I believe people need Snuggies.

8) A very diverse taste in music.
Some music isn't going to make you want to sit down and write. Some is. And more often than not, those tunes aren't in the same genre. So if you (for example) like Daft Punk and listen to only Daft Punk and any of their fellows, you're going to have to expand your horizons just a tad. Because while Interstella 5555 was amazing, the music might not make you want to crank out a chapter.

9) Good grammar.
I don't think I need to get too in depth on this one.

10) Someone you trust a whole helluva lot.
This person might also double as your sane person. Their job is to read your earliest drafts and tell you in complete honesty if they suck or not. They also get to read every draft after that and the finished piece. Try very hard not to abuse them, this person breaks very easily and is just as sensitive as you. You may need a few of these and not all of them at once.

Quet Girl- Langston Hughes

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

Mood Music

A sample of what I listen to while I write.

How To Format Word For Books

Just found this via Google and had to share. This is also for reference later.

When you select Book fold for your page setup, Microsoft Word prints two pages on one side of the paper. When you fold the paper, it opens like a book. This option is intended for documents that have more than two pages.

1. Set up your document as a booklet.
When you create a booklet, it's best to start with a new, blank document so that you have better control over the placement of text, graphics, and other elements. You can add a book fold to an existing document, but you may have to reposition some elements once the book fold is in place.
A. Start a new, blank document.
B. On the File menu, click Page Setup, and then click the Margins tab.
C. In the Multiple pages list, select Book fold.
If your document is not set to landscape orientation, Microsoft Word sets it to landscape.
D. In the Inside and Outside boxes, type or select the amount of space you want for the inside and outside margins (margin: The blank space outside the printing area on a page.).
If you need even more space along the fold to accommodate binding, type or select the amount of space you want in the Gutter box.
E. In the Sheets per booklet list, select the number of pages you want to include in a single booklet.
If the number of pages in the document exceeds the number of pages you select for a booklet, Word prints the document as multiple booklets.
F. Select any other options you want in the Page Setup dialog box.
G. Add text, graphics, headers or footers (header and footer: A header, which can consist of text or graphics, appears at the top of every page in a section. A footer appears at the bottom of every page. Headers and footers often contain page numbers, chapter titles, dates, and author names.), and other elements to your document as usual.

2. On the File menu, click Print.

3. Set options for printing on both sides of the paper.
If you're using a duplex printer (one that automatically prints on both sides of the paper)
Click Properties, and then set the options you want. If you have a choice of setting the page orientation and duplex options, select landscape orientation, and flip the document on the short edge or short side.

If you aren't using a duplex printer
In the Print dialog box, select the Manual duplex check box. Word will print all of the pages that appear on one side of the paper, and then prompt you to turn the stack over and feed the pages again.

4. Select the page range you want to print.

If you click Current page or Pages, Word prints the page you indicate, plus the three other pages that belong on the same sheet of paper.
If you click Selection, Word prints your selection using the default page layout instead of booklet layout.


Original Site (this is where I got all the above info. I'm not taking any of the credit for it. Whoever this blogger is, I love you)

Don't Hate

For the love of God!

I worked up some bawlz and found an old draft of something I'm working on and did a little editing.

BE NICE! I would like critique, not criticism.

~~~

I needed out, I needed air. I needed to be left alone. I needed to run.

And run I did. I shot out of Drig and barreled through the woods like a bat out of Hell. I was in serious shape by then and capable of running at a steady pace for a few miles without stopping, something Gym class had never been able to achieve.

I was two or three miles away from the castle before I tripped over a root and face planted. I didn’t bother getting up; I just curled up under the offending tree and let myself go to pieces.

I was still feeling so trapped in my own skin several minutes later when I was done screaming into my arms. I was incredibly torn between walking back and running in the opposite direction until my feet bled when I heard the sound of horse hooves. In seconds I was up the tree and hiding in a spot the gave me a decent view of the road in both directions.

Lylor and Caelif were heading my way from Drig. Lylor astride a horse, Caelif was jogging next to him.

“Do you smell her?” Lylor asked, his white-blonde hair swinging as he scanned the forest floor for me.

“She came this way, but Nienna has a very faint scent. It’s hard to pick up on most of the time,” Caelif mused as he sniffed the air and Lylor reined his horse to a halt.

“What does that mean?” my very tactless friends asked while he dismounted and started probing bushes. Caelif did the same thing as he began to explain the complexities of my smell.

“Her scent is distinct, but very faint. She smells like the lyss flowers in the mountains and smoke, but the smell is so vague you would hardly know it’s there, even if you just saw her. She could have just left the room and you wouldn’t know she’d been there. She’s excellent for stealth like that.” They continued to poke around for a few more minutes and Lylor re-saddled and rode on ahead to try and find some trace of me.

He had hardly been gone a few minutes when Caelif walked over to the tree I was sitting in and looked directly up at me.

“But I’m no fool. Come down, Nienna, you’re being silly,” he ordered.

I did as I was told and began my descent.

"Some People" -Charles Bukowski

some people never go crazy.
me, sometimes I'll lie down behind the couch
for 3 or 4 days.
they'll find me there.
it's Cherub, they'll say, and
they pour wine down my throat
rub my chest
sprinkle me with oils.

then, I'll rise with a roar,
rant, rage -
curse them and the universe
as I send them scattering over the
lawn.
I'll feel much better,
sit down to toast and eggs,
hum a little tune,
suddenly become as lovable as a
pink
overfed whale.

some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead.

What do Steampunk and Glitter have in common?

I found a fun little web app today via StumbleUpon. It’s called “I Write Like”. The basic idea is for the writer (namely: me) to copy/paste a few decent sized paragraphs of their work into this bot that with then analyze their writing style and tell them who they write like. I found it amusing and put in a few different samples from different things and got some surprising results.

Test 1: Random Snippet from an old RPG site
Yes, you read that right. I used to be one of those nerds that sat online for hours and wrote stories with other nerds. It helped flex some old muscles though.

Result: William Gibson
(All of the following is directly from Wikipedia) William Ford Gibson (born March 17, 1948) is an American-Canadian writer who has been called the "noir prophet" of the cyberpunk subgenre of science fiction.[16] Gibson coined the term "cyberspace" in his short story "Burning Chrome" and later popularized the concept in his debut novel, Neuromancer (1984). In envisaging cyberspace, Gibson created an iconography for the information age before the ubiquity of the Internet in the 1990s.[17] He is also credited with predicting the rise of reality television and with establishing the conceptual foundations for the rapid growth of virtual environments such as video games and the World Wide Web.

(Now for my opinions) This guy has handled stuff like steampunk, cyber noir, dystopia, cyperpunk, and all things dark and futuristic. Where has he been my whole life?

~~~~~

Test 2: As Yet Untitled and Unfinished Piece
Semi-Biographical and very funny, at least I think so. It’s three short stories, each based off one off Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Result: Chuck Palahniuk
If you don’t know who this guy is, you can just leave. Like, now.

Mr. Palahniuk wrote Fight Club, the badass book that would be a badass movie that would star Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. I haven’t seen/read Choke yet, but it’s probably just as insane. He’s a self-proclaimed romantic, but a described nihilist. I suppose he’s just open to interpretation.

~~~~

Test 3: Piece from an old joint project

Result: Stephenie Meyer
I really did feel a part of me die on the inside when I saw this.

Ms. Meyer is the woman to be held accountable for the sparkling vampires, Team Jacob, and the Twi-hards. I confess to reading the books in high school. I’ve even read her other, less well known, book. I prefer The Host to the Cullens any day. You can almost taste the difference in the novels. It’s sad.



To conclude, I was pretty happy with the first two. And then Twilight had to go and ruin everything like it always does. Stupid sparkling vampires.